Bringing back the Sunday Drive

Not a challenge prompt today! I know, shocking. But I have something I experienced that I need to share, and that is the Sunday Drive.
For those of you who don't know, the "Sunday drive" is a concept which was particularly popular in 1950's America in which, on a Sunday, you got into your car in some relatively presentable clothes and just drove through town or the country side. sounds kind of silly doesn't it? But last weekend I got a bad itch to move and see things and that is just what I did. Armed with a cardigan, my keys, and my phone only, I hopped into my car and set out into the roads around my father's house.

Assuming you don't make a point to know all the little details of my life (Even if it is fab) let me explain, my father's house is about 10 minutes out from anything resembling a suburb or town and 30 minutes on the interstate away from a respectably sized one. So, long story short, old houses, dirt roads, and trees abound. Everywhere.
I let my dad know I was going on this drive, to which he offered advice on what roads to take. And I should say, I've lived at this house my whole life, part time after age 6 and I knew the area pretty well but not well enough to be acquainted with all the little roads so I was quite open to his suggestions. After learning his directions, I set off, eager to go somewhere or do something other than surf tumblr.
I gotta say guys, I expected it to be pleasant but it was so much more than that. It was so many things I needed to have the time to do. Let me explain;

It was time to spend alone with my thoughts and with a clear head. Driving occupies your hands and enough of your brain to not be bored but little enough for you to still think naturally.
I turned the radio on scan, stopping it wherever I heard something that I thought interesting. It was a time to do things without any pressure or assurance. You just make decisions based on what you feel like.
I didn't have anywhere to be or anywhere to go. It was cathartic for me to be able to decompress and not rush anywhere or have to hurry around. I could go as slow or fast as I felt like without stressing.
I stopped whenever I saw something I was taken with because it was a back road and had little traffic. A few times I actually pulled over to the side of the road to pick flowers or rabbit's tobacco.
It was really just a time for me to breathe and think and move and not worry about the consequences of any of it. It was freedom for a while.

So what to do with this information?
Go on a Sunday drive yourself. Here are some tips:

• No distractions. If you can leave your phone at home and just take a camera all the better. This is time for you.
• Don't let guilt get you. If you want to pull over on the side of the road to pick some flowers, damn sure do it! Don't let the idea that you shouldn't or other drivers will think you're weird doing it stop you. What does that matter anyway, you're not breaking any laws.
• Don't have a return time. If you set a time to be back home then you'll constantly be concerned with getting back by then, detracting from the experience.
• Have a map or a GPS. This way, you wont be worried about getting lost or having to stay on main roads. Have a fall back on so when you go adventuring it wont matter, because that's an important part of this-- impulse. Follow whatever you feel like, just mind your blinkers.
• Have a way to document. A camera is good, or a camera phone. Don't get to caught up in recording everything though!
• Look for dirt roads and countryside. Driving around town is nice, but it can be a bit restricting. Stop lights, traffic, loud noises. Ditch that and find some back roads with trees and maybe some cows if you're feeling really frisky. No stop signs, little traffic. It's great.
• Dress for the weather. Yes, you're in a car, but don't think you're going to be the entire time. If you find something amazing, get the hell out of the car and investigate! These things are things you shouldn't be missing just because you're "supposed" to be on a drive. This is all about you uninhibited.
• If you want to scream, or beat a tree with a baseball bat, or do cartwheels, do it! This is your time, and no one is going to get you in trouble for doing what you want to (so long as it isn't private, watched property. Ie. You can get away with smashing a tree in a huge forest type area or the back of a field. Not so much in a suburb....well, if it's not your tree)

That's it. Go forth. Drive

I swear by these on the Holy Gothic Lolita Bible {Lolita 52 challenge}

The first one on the list of challenges is " 5 pieces that every Lolita wardrobe should have, regardless of style". And in my own personal opinion; here they are, the five things I swear by for the successful lolita.

1. A supremely fancy dress
        This can't be just any dress. This has to be THE dress. The dress that is something a princess could wear to a ball, or alternatively, hold vampire court in. It doesn't have to be huge but it has to be significantly fancier than a normal lolita dress. I'm currently in pursuit of this myself. >~> Baby's new release is beautiful beyond all belief.

2. An Organza petticoat
       The magic to these petticoats is that they don't deflate. They're puff is derived from the sheer amount of material instead of the stiffness of the fabric, insuring minimal if any deflation. One supplies everyday poof for ever and two is enough to make any AP girl weep tears of envy. I'm looking for a second one right now.

3. Community
       So many lolitas are in the world today, and for that matter gathering places! There's local communities, the EGL friending meme, the EGL free for all, plenty of forums, Conventions. So many opportunities to meet the other girls who share your hobby and passion. And I think its very important to remember that they do exist. Even if we live on opposite sides of the world, we have something in common. It's a really brilliant and uplifting thing, even if we do fight. It always seems to turn out ok.

4. A pair of cute shoes that don't make your feet bleed tears of fiery death
      That pair of heels with the pearls is all fine and dandy at a tea party, but when you're at a picnic, or a mall meet, or some other thing where you are on your feet for more than five minutes, how cute those shoes are don't mean jack shit. Find a pair of nice shoes that DON'T feel like the Spanish inquisition. You'll thank me later. (I have a pair of pink flat oxfords from www.goldenponies.net and I LOVE them)

5. A good camera (or at least a decent one)
      Even if you don't post pictures to the internet, you should still record your outfits. One day you're going to want to look back at the years past, progress, changes, etc and if you never recorded anything you are you of luck. You wont be able to remember everything on your own, get a little help with memory making.

Lolita blog carnival: What to get a girl who hates the mall or DIY gift ideas

http://sequinsandcherryblossom.com

Christmas is rapidly approaching and the onslaught of secret santas, office parties, family get togethers, and hallmarkian harassment is upon us. Its all fine and dandy to buy a tie for joe at the office but when it comes to lolitas of the amicable persuasion things get a might bit more complicated.
What do you buy for the girl who hates the mall?
Or, in slightly less dramatic terms-- What do you buy for a lolita when socks are 50 bucks?
First you should consider what is effective and useful to this person. Does she never have enough room in her purse? Is she sock deficient? Does she like styling her hair? Consider what is significant to your giftee.
Once you've figure that out (Or figured out that there isn't really anything) you have one of two options: Go out and buy something, or make it. This blog post is concerned with making. Let's get started-
For the Sweety-
~Try a Rococo inspired choker
~Maybe she's a floral kind of person?
~Don't want to over do it?
~Angelic pretty fan?
~The fur fan

 For the Gothic Vampire Aristocrat-
~Ball joint knee tights
~How about a rosary?
~Bat's on the head

 The Classic Queen-
~Flowers in her hair
~A teacup with effort

For any style:
~Spice up shoes
~For the Lifestyler
~Something for the purse toter
~Got a tea fanatic?
~For the bow hoarder

Happy creating~

Other blogs:
MakeLovely
Lemontree111
Spider-sugar
Sidhe Banshee
May Cause Cavities
Sweet and Simple
Sparkle Girl
Pop Princess

On the Importance of Trying

Some nights I will stay up too late talking to friends or playing video games and I know that in the morning I'll feel extremely tired. Then, I'll go to sleep. I'll wake up in the morning and, lo, just like I predicted, I feel terrible. I'm tired. My limbs feel heavy. I can barely keep my eyes open. I'll tell myself that I just won't bother getting dressed that morning. I'll just throw on some random shirt, something on my legs and shoe myself with whatever I find. Then I reach for a pair of jeans and stop.

I can't wear those jeans.
I can't wear that old t-shirt.
I can't walk past my makeup table.
I can't give up.
I can't give up.

It's a one sentence confirmation of my worth. I get dressed in the mornings because I enjoy it, because I want to, and because I am denying apathy.

Self-Love is a buzz word for persons of the especially female persuasion existing in the modern world for a reason. (For those of you who don't know, Self-Love is the active love and appreciation of yourself as a sort of counter to the normal body hate and under appreciation of oneself) Loving yourself is important. It makes you more productive, happier, more confident, and a slew of other things. Tons of outspoken and successful women are speaking up for it. People like Gala Darling and Angelina have especially spoken up for it. It's certainly becoming increasingly important today.

But what does that really have to do with my inability to wear sweatpants?
Because putting effort into what I do is an affirmation that what I am doing and what I am are both worth it. This is my emotions, my sense of beauty, I'm putting out into the world, but not for anyone else. This is just for me.

And some mornings you may wake up tired, sad, exhausted, willing to just scream and say fuck it to trying. But you need to try. You need to say that you are worth it because you are. You are the person who understands you the most. The person who knows your favorite color. You are your own soul mate. And you should treat yourself well. You deserve it.
So maybe nobody notices when you paint your nails with that new color. It makes you smile, don't give it up.
So maybe your art isn't as well known as someone else's. It doesn't have as many comments. Do you like your art? Does it speak to you? You create, don't give up.
So maybe it's easier to wear that pair of ratty old flats than hunt down that new pair of heels that you love. It's early in the morning. It doesn't matter. But it does-- for you!
When you put effort into things, you are affirming that it has meaning and worth and power. And it does because you do. You are powerful and strong and worth the effort.
Don't ever, ever give up.

Inspiration Central: Gala Darling

In my recent post Urbanite Antoinette (which is my new favorite article, by the way) I mentioned I got the inspiration for the post from  Gala Darling: The pop, primary international playgirl. I found the blog about 5 months ago via my dear friend Mana Starre, the best pinup hime I've ever had the pleasure of meeting, and the blog has rapidly usurped Parfait Doll as my favorite blog.

 The lovely lady herself

Gala Darling, the blog, is a mix of fashion, lifestyle, beauty and inspiration. Gala, the founder of the blog and the radical self love movement, started the blog strictly on fashion but has expanded to quite a few other topics now. Everything from self fulfillment to makeup and back.

My favorite posts are the link carousels which always have the most interesting information on them. You really get a lot of different things to think about or new perspectives to consider. The life articles are also really wonderful. When she addresses real life problem or experiences it helps guide a way of living that isn't directly feeding into the basic model. The life articles are usually hinging somewhere between personal discovery and awareness.

I really love the blog and Gala herself as a source of motivation and inspiration. It helps me find a direction for my blog and offers advice to help me in my personal discovery. The blog and author are both incredibly successful and really very inspiring. Her fantastic articles and success are both great motivators in themselves to improve.

La Vie Antoinette

There is most certainly something endearing about the frivolity of rococo France and in general of the pre 1800's courts of Europe. Personally I've loved it for a good long while but strong interest has emerged again recently, and who am I to complain? I love it, and maybe you will to? Here's some ways to get in the rococo spirit~

• Give a square necklines a try, one that shows your collar bones. It was *the* style when you look back at historical paintings...that is the ones where they weren't nude.
• Shade your collarbones. One of the fascinating things about Rococo France is how freaking sexy it is without being nothing but, well, tits and ass. NOPE, it was ankles and petticoats. Your collar bones are a really lovely thing, they're elegant and accentuate your neck and make you feel fancy. Take a brown shade and dust it in the hollow of the bone and a highlighting color on the top of it.

• Nothing says fancy like sticking feathers in a fancy updo. Find some nice ostrich feathers or peacock feather (any craft store ought to have them) and when you do your big teased updo just stick a few in one of your tighter curls or teasing areas.
• Ribbon chokers do a wonderful job of highlighting your neck right along there with shading your neck bones. If you look at old portraits of Antoinette herself you'll notice chokers being very common. All you have to do is tie a matching nice ribbon around your neck, or if you want to get fancy you could try this tutorial. I did it, it really is lovely.

• Stock up on some rose flavoured gum, rose flavoured chocolate, rose flavoured facial wash. Roses. Roses. Roses. The pink rose was the symbol of Marie Antoinette.
• Yo dawg, I heard you liked ruffles, so I put ruffles on your ruffles so you can wear ruffles while you wear ruffles. But seriously, main trope in french 1700's fashion? 3/4 sleeves with laaaaayers of ruffles. Give something with 2-3 layers of ruffles a chance.

 This chick has it right.

• Find a fancy bakery in your city and pick up a nice sweet. I love L'opera but you should find something to suit yourself. Now go do something simple and fun and eat that dessert like it's going out of style.
• Shoes made with satin fabric were popular. Usually as heeled slippers. It's a bit hard to find that now but hey, plenty of shoes are made with satin or something of the sort.

• Big jewels in your jewelry. It was go hard or go home with court jewelry. Pop on a big crystal ring or a nice chuck of swarovski crystal on a choker. Blind them and knock 'em dead.
• Details on details on details on details. So many details. There was a LOT going on in Rococo dresses. There were bows on ruffles on lace on more frills. Give some heavy detailing a shot.
• Pastels are obviously a thing now in lolita. But Antoinette had pastels before it was cool. And she did some interesting mixes. Give powder blue a try with some different alternatives. Blue and lavender or powder blue and a mild yellow or mint and a soft yellow. Or you could try Pink and yellow. OR, if you wanted to get crazy you could try a non pastel with a pastel like some deep red with a soft yellow.

• You remember the frills from before? Take out frills and put in bows. BOWS EVERYWHERE.

  And then she flies into the sun after kicking him in the face.

When the sun don't shine

(Source unknown)

Bad days are just a thing that happen, but that doesn't make them any less pleasant. It can be a listless miserable feeling or a bought of self hate- but no matter what it is, you CAN'T let it ruin you. go on the attack and try and feel better!
You you feel sad/depressed/listless/in a bad way

• Watch a good movie that will most likely make you cry. It's hard to get over a bad feeling when you don't release them. I would suggest a chick flick that isn't romantic comedy. The notebook is good. Princess and the Frog is a fantastic Disney movie that will pull a couple tears too.
• Listen to some good music. No mopey music either!! No wallowing allowed! It'll just make you feel worse. Find something moderately happy. Really happy music will make you feel worse, but something that isn't negative will improve things.
• Take out a little bit of anger. A few options include: Go to a shooting range if you have any experience, take a baseball bat and bash in a few trees, play a violent, easy video game.
• Be productive. Don't just sit there! Get up, do something! If you just sit around not doing anything you're left to meditate on your sadness and that's never helpful! Get up!
• If you can't seem to get past it, go to sleep. Sometimes you just are up too late, or are stuck in a rut. Have a day reset and get some rest. things'll be better next morning.
• Do something you really enjoy. Doesn't matter if it's crocheting or blowing up boxes! As long as you're enjoying yourself.
• Talk to a friend. Vent, get out all your frustrations, all your worries. It's amazing how much better you'll feel.
• Or, if no friend is available, write an open letter to what's bothering you or just start writing what's bothering you in general. Catharsis is inevitable.

Going on the offensive. Don't wait for a bad day to hit before you start making preparations.

• Make a list of everything you love. All the things that make you smile from the simplistic to the complex. When that day where nothing is worth it hits, read the list and feel a little better.
• Get rid of toxic persons in your life. If someone consistently makes you feel bad get rid of them! No friendship is worth that! It's just not worth it. You'll feel much better.

If you're feeling like you're out of confidence check out my best friend Mana's article! Confidence boost this way!