Why I wear Lolita? {Lolita 52 challenge}

It's just like the title says this time around, why do I wear lolita? I haven't done one of these in a while because I haven't posted in a while.  But that's the prompt, and boy what a loaded question. I've actually thought about this a lot ever since I read a questionnaire a couple years ago about lolita. As soon as I read it I really knew the answer-- so, what is the answer? This answer is a few parts.

Lolita is part of who I am. It represents part of me.

I started lolita at a very young age, around 14, back when I didn't really have an identity for myself. The existential question "Who am I" would have hit deep if I had considered it in between contrived stanzas of poetry and bad deviant art uploads. So, when I found lolita, along with some other things, I felt connected and grew around it and into it. Not so much artificially selecting myself for lolita traits but instead just growing in knowledge and experience relevant to the culture around lolita. Everyone grows up with cultural influences that shape them, people who participate in band, high academics, plantation society. Mine happened to be lolita.

I love the way it looks.

What more can I say? I don't know why, it's just part of me. I adore the look. The supreme girliness and unabashed self appreciation that goes into wearing lolita. I also like the fact that its technically an alt fashion and is really weird and out there.

The community is relatable and connecting.

While the lolita community has a lot of draw backs to it, the drama, the cattiness, it has a good side too. It brings together people from many walks of life and allows me to meet new people. And beyond that I feel like I belong. I fit in somewhere. It's hard to say that because everyone is encouraged to strike out on their own but honestly, people need support, people to relate to. That's what the lolita community does for me. I can ask advice, and talk to people, have things in common with people everywhere from Scandinavia to Japan.

So basically, lolita is just right to me. I didn't think about why when I did it, and now I only think why because I'm asked. It's ineffable and it's my fashion.

Bringing back the Sunday Drive

Not a challenge prompt today! I know, shocking. But I have something I experienced that I need to share, and that is the Sunday Drive.
For those of you who don't know, the "Sunday drive" is a concept which was particularly popular in 1950's America in which, on a Sunday, you got into your car in some relatively presentable clothes and just drove through town or the country side. sounds kind of silly doesn't it? But last weekend I got a bad itch to move and see things and that is just what I did. Armed with a cardigan, my keys, and my phone only, I hopped into my car and set out into the roads around my father's house.

Assuming you don't make a point to know all the little details of my life (Even if it is fab) let me explain, my father's house is about 10 minutes out from anything resembling a suburb or town and 30 minutes on the interstate away from a respectably sized one. So, long story short, old houses, dirt roads, and trees abound. Everywhere.
I let my dad know I was going on this drive, to which he offered advice on what roads to take. And I should say, I've lived at this house my whole life, part time after age 6 and I knew the area pretty well but not well enough to be acquainted with all the little roads so I was quite open to his suggestions. After learning his directions, I set off, eager to go somewhere or do something other than surf tumblr.
I gotta say guys, I expected it to be pleasant but it was so much more than that. It was so many things I needed to have the time to do. Let me explain;

It was time to spend alone with my thoughts and with a clear head. Driving occupies your hands and enough of your brain to not be bored but little enough for you to still think naturally.
I turned the radio on scan, stopping it wherever I heard something that I thought interesting. It was a time to do things without any pressure or assurance. You just make decisions based on what you feel like.
I didn't have anywhere to be or anywhere to go. It was cathartic for me to be able to decompress and not rush anywhere or have to hurry around. I could go as slow or fast as I felt like without stressing.
I stopped whenever I saw something I was taken with because it was a back road and had little traffic. A few times I actually pulled over to the side of the road to pick flowers or rabbit's tobacco.
It was really just a time for me to breathe and think and move and not worry about the consequences of any of it. It was freedom for a while.

So what to do with this information?
Go on a Sunday drive yourself. Here are some tips:

• No distractions. If you can leave your phone at home and just take a camera all the better. This is time for you.
• Don't let guilt get you. If you want to pull over on the side of the road to pick some flowers, damn sure do it! Don't let the idea that you shouldn't or other drivers will think you're weird doing it stop you. What does that matter anyway, you're not breaking any laws.
• Don't have a return time. If you set a time to be back home then you'll constantly be concerned with getting back by then, detracting from the experience.
• Have a map or a GPS. This way, you wont be worried about getting lost or having to stay on main roads. Have a fall back on so when you go adventuring it wont matter, because that's an important part of this-- impulse. Follow whatever you feel like, just mind your blinkers.
• Have a way to document. A camera is good, or a camera phone. Don't get to caught up in recording everything though!
• Look for dirt roads and countryside. Driving around town is nice, but it can be a bit restricting. Stop lights, traffic, loud noises. Ditch that and find some back roads with trees and maybe some cows if you're feeling really frisky. No stop signs, little traffic. It's great.
• Dress for the weather. Yes, you're in a car, but don't think you're going to be the entire time. If you find something amazing, get the hell out of the car and investigate! These things are things you shouldn't be missing just because you're "supposed" to be on a drive. This is all about you uninhibited.
• If you want to scream, or beat a tree with a baseball bat, or do cartwheels, do it! This is your time, and no one is going to get you in trouble for doing what you want to (so long as it isn't private, watched property. Ie. You can get away with smashing a tree in a huge forest type area or the back of a field. Not so much in a suburb....well, if it's not your tree)

That's it. Go forth. Drive

A Day at the Cinema {Lolita 52 Challenge}

Today's prompt from the 52 challenge is "5 movies for lolita" and wow, have I been waiting for this. I adore movies, from cinematography to plot line. Easy to say, I'm going to have fun with this.
*There will be no spoilers, since the point of this is to give recommendations.*

Lets kick this off with the obvious and ENTIRELY NECESSARY movie:
1. Kamikaze Girls: A movie about a lolita with emotional and committal problems who by accident becomes friends with a yanki girl gang member. Despite all that this movie has many comedic elements and is rooted in comedy. The overarching themes are friendship, believing in yourself, growing as a person and being a god damn bad ass. I have watched this movie 6 times and would recommend it highly. The original book is by Novala Takemoto.

2. Marie Antoinette: Let me say right now, this movie has the shittiest story telling. There is basically no REAL plot. That out of the way, holy Jesus the costume and set designing is BRILLIANT. I recommend this movie if for nothing else the beautiful eye candy. The soundtrack is rather surprising as well. Very contemporary. The movie is basically Marie Antoinette's life starting at her move to France to be the Dauphine till her imprisonment. Things to be on the look out for- Her affair, the lack of difference between grown women and kids in clothes, the door space v. skirt width.

3.Fight Club: Distinctly un-lolita but to be frank, I don't care. This is a movie everyone needs to see. I don't care if you're a scene kid, a lolita, gyaru, goth, whatever. Watch this movie. Everything about it is perfect. And I can't tell you anything because it'll ruin it. I believe in Tyler Durden.

4. Princess and The Frog: A relatively recent Disney movie from the 2000's, set in the 1920's jazz age New Orleans about a woman overcoming struggles and finding love. Except its way better than that. It's got a woman named Charlotte (Lottie for short) and she is the most magnificent creature. There's no dislike-able characters in this movie and the musical numbers are PHENOMENAL. It's about princesses, adventure, princes, magic, and music. You can't get any better than that!

5. Kurage Hime: This is actually an anime instead of a movie but I absolutely love it. Its about a nerdy girl with no confidence becoming a super confident girl who will make her dreams come true. Add in a boarding house of nerdy girls, a cross dresser who is so fabulous it hurts and an overarching theme of believing in yourself, this movie was made for lolitas. Watch it any time you need a little boost for yourself.

That's it! My recommendations for any lolita looking for a night in! Until next time!
<3

On the Importance of Trying

Some nights I will stay up too late talking to friends or playing video games and I know that in the morning I'll feel extremely tired. Then, I'll go to sleep. I'll wake up in the morning and, lo, just like I predicted, I feel terrible. I'm tired. My limbs feel heavy. I can barely keep my eyes open. I'll tell myself that I just won't bother getting dressed that morning. I'll just throw on some random shirt, something on my legs and shoe myself with whatever I find. Then I reach for a pair of jeans and stop.

I can't wear those jeans.
I can't wear that old t-shirt.
I can't walk past my makeup table.
I can't give up.
I can't give up.

It's a one sentence confirmation of my worth. I get dressed in the mornings because I enjoy it, because I want to, and because I am denying apathy.

Self-Love is a buzz word for persons of the especially female persuasion existing in the modern world for a reason. (For those of you who don't know, Self-Love is the active love and appreciation of yourself as a sort of counter to the normal body hate and under appreciation of oneself) Loving yourself is important. It makes you more productive, happier, more confident, and a slew of other things. Tons of outspoken and successful women are speaking up for it. People like Gala Darling and Angelina have especially spoken up for it. It's certainly becoming increasingly important today.

But what does that really have to do with my inability to wear sweatpants?
Because putting effort into what I do is an affirmation that what I am doing and what I am are both worth it. This is my emotions, my sense of beauty, I'm putting out into the world, but not for anyone else. This is just for me.

And some mornings you may wake up tired, sad, exhausted, willing to just scream and say fuck it to trying. But you need to try. You need to say that you are worth it because you are. You are the person who understands you the most. The person who knows your favorite color. You are your own soul mate. And you should treat yourself well. You deserve it.
So maybe nobody notices when you paint your nails with that new color. It makes you smile, don't give it up.
So maybe your art isn't as well known as someone else's. It doesn't have as many comments. Do you like your art? Does it speak to you? You create, don't give up.
So maybe it's easier to wear that pair of ratty old flats than hunt down that new pair of heels that you love. It's early in the morning. It doesn't matter. But it does-- for you!
When you put effort into things, you are affirming that it has meaning and worth and power. And it does because you do. You are powerful and strong and worth the effort.
Don't ever, ever give up.

A princess

When the sun don't shine

(Source unknown)

Bad days are just a thing that happen, but that doesn't make them any less pleasant. It can be a listless miserable feeling or a bought of self hate- but no matter what it is, you CAN'T let it ruin you. go on the attack and try and feel better!
You you feel sad/depressed/listless/in a bad way

• Watch a good movie that will most likely make you cry. It's hard to get over a bad feeling when you don't release them. I would suggest a chick flick that isn't romantic comedy. The notebook is good. Princess and the Frog is a fantastic Disney movie that will pull a couple tears too.
• Listen to some good music. No mopey music either!! No wallowing allowed! It'll just make you feel worse. Find something moderately happy. Really happy music will make you feel worse, but something that isn't negative will improve things.
• Take out a little bit of anger. A few options include: Go to a shooting range if you have any experience, take a baseball bat and bash in a few trees, play a violent, easy video game.
• Be productive. Don't just sit there! Get up, do something! If you just sit around not doing anything you're left to meditate on your sadness and that's never helpful! Get up!
• If you can't seem to get past it, go to sleep. Sometimes you just are up too late, or are stuck in a rut. Have a day reset and get some rest. things'll be better next morning.
• Do something you really enjoy. Doesn't matter if it's crocheting or blowing up boxes! As long as you're enjoying yourself.
• Talk to a friend. Vent, get out all your frustrations, all your worries. It's amazing how much better you'll feel.
• Or, if no friend is available, write an open letter to what's bothering you or just start writing what's bothering you in general. Catharsis is inevitable.

Going on the offensive. Don't wait for a bad day to hit before you start making preparations.

• Make a list of everything you love. All the things that make you smile from the simplistic to the complex. When that day where nothing is worth it hits, read the list and feel a little better.
• Get rid of toxic persons in your life. If someone consistently makes you feel bad get rid of them! No friendship is worth that! It's just not worth it. You'll feel much better.

If you're feeling like you're out of confidence check out my best friend Mana's article! Confidence boost this way!